Posts Tagged With: Mussar

The Unforgiving Servant

Posted on April 17, 2023 by K. Gallagher

The vast mercy, grace, and abounding chesed (lovingkindness) of our Father and King culminates in His willingness to forgive. So, as recipients of His lavish love, why do we often prefer vengeance, pay back, and punishment when wrongs have been committed against us? The parable of the unforgiving servant demonstrates this truth perfectly; and yet, I wonder if we really can see just how much we resemble this servant in our attitudes towards others who have hurt, wronged, or insulted us.

The more the Father has had me revisit this parable and other related passages, the more I am convicted when I look into the perfect law of liberty and see how distorted my reflection is in comparison to the Master. My nephesh (flesh) desires vindication, damages, and justice when I have been wronged, slighted, misunderstood, hurt, taken advantage of, misrepresented, slandered, wounded, stolen from, or even when I am simply offended. It feels like righteous anger, but is it?

When I think about what Messiah endured for lost, unrepentant, and even degenerate souls, my anger dissolves into a puddle of shame and conviction. Can I embody this kind of mercy, empathy, and forgiveness towards those who have deeply wounded me or one of my children? In my flesh, it is futile. But praise Adonai, we are given His Spirit, so the impossible IS possible. Hear the parable from the Literal Standard Version [1]:

Matthew 18:21-35 (LSV)

21 Then Peter having come near to Him, said, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him—until seven times?”

22 Jesus says to him, “I do not say to you until seven times, but until seventy times seven.

23 Because of this was the kingdom of the heavens likened to a man, a king, who willed to take reckoning with his servants,

24 and he having begun to take account, there was brought near to him one debtor of a myriad of talents,

25 and he having nothing to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and the children, and all, whatever he had, and payment to be made.

26 The servant then, having fallen down, was prostrating to him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay you all;

27 and the lord of that servant having been moved with compassion released him, and the debt he forgave him.

28 And that servant having come forth, found one of his fellow-servants who was owing him one hundred denarii, and having laid hold, he took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that which you owe.

29 His fellow-servant then, having fallen down at his feet, was calling on him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay you all;

30 and he would not, but having gone away, he cast him into prison, until he might pay that which was owing.

31 And his fellow-servants having seen the things that were done, were grieved exceedingly, and having come, showed fully to their lord all the things that were done;

32 then having called him, his lord says to him, Evil servant! All that debt I forgave you, seeing you called on me,

33 did it not seem necessary to you to have dealt kindly with your fellow servant, as I also dealt kindly with you?

34 And having been angry, his lord delivered him to the inquisitors, until he might pay all that was owing to him;

35 so also My heavenly Father will do to you, if you may not forgive each one his brother from your hearts their trespasses.”

If you have been deeply wounded, hurt, manipulated, oppressed, or worse by another person, Peter’s query of forgiving up to seven times seems very generous. How many times does God expect one to “put up with” a person who continues to transgress against them? Isn’t this actually dangerous in some cases?

As a quick aside, consider that forgiveness is NOT a feeling. Forgiving someone does NOT mean that one must put themselves at risk physically, mentally, emotionally, or financially. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to give the “weapon” back to the one who assaulted you. This fallacy of belief prevents a lot of people from truly forgiving, because it seems to ask too much. True forgiveness is choosing to release the debt another person owes you. It doesn’t erase what happened. It doesn’t condone their behavior or words. You don’t have to become bedfellows with your betrayer (or even have warm, fuzzy feelings about them), but you do have to forgive the debt they owe you. Let it go and entrust them to Adonai. This releases you from the “torturers,” which will be explained later in this post.

Seven, being the number of completion and rest, was a reasonable, and even a Biblical, deduction made by Peter in regards to forgiveness. But Messiah says something shocking to our human sensibilities in response – we are to forgive our brothers/sisters up to seven times seventy! Rather than this being a clever way of saying 490, Yeshua is hinting back to a story that involved brothers and unforgiveness. When we fail to forgive, we are actually going the “way of Cain.”[2]

Cain & Lamech

In Genesis 4, Cain was offended and hurt that Adonai accepted the offering of his brother Abel, but not his. It is noteworthy to point out that by faith Abel offered firstfruits, his best, which is a better sacrifice.[3] Though Cain also made an offering, it was not from his firstfruits. He cared more about himself than his brother. Cain’s hurt turned into jealous anger towards his brother. Adonai warned him that he needed to master these emotions or sin would overtake him, and encouraged him that if he did well (in the future), it would go well with him too. But Cain did not listen. He didn’t “hear” the Word from Adonai and his anger resulted with the first murder in human history. Afterwards, Adonai asked Cain:

Genesis 4:9-10 (TLV) 9 “Where is Abel, your brother?” “I don’t know,” he said. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”10 Then He said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood is crying out to Me from the ground.”

Rather than repenting for murdering his brother, Cain smugly replies, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” In the eyes of Adonai, yes, you are your brother’s keeper! In Hebrew, keeper is הֲשֹׁמֵ֥ר, ha-shomer, from shamar, a verb meaning to watch, to keep, to preserve, to guard, to be careful, to watch carefully over.

This is true for you and me too. We should keep, guard, and carefully watch over our brothers and sisters despite how we feel about them. What is most telling about the character of Adonai in this episode is that despite Cain’s unwillingness to repent, God still chooses to exercise long-suffering (patience) towards him. Even though Cain was only concerned about himself and only had remorse for the consequences/punishment of his actions, God protected him.

Genesis 4:13-15 (TLV) 13 Cain said to Adonai, “My iniquity is too great to bear! 14 Since You expelled me today from the face of the ground and I must be hidden from Your presence, then I will be a restless wanderer on the earth—anyone who finds me will kill me!” 15 But Adonai said to him, “In that case, anyone who kills Cain is to be avenged seven times over.” So Adonai put a mark on Cain, so that anyone who found him would not strike him down.

There are several ways the sevenfold vengeance is interpreted. Some suggest that this was a reference to seven generations, implying that the slayer of Cain should not only be punished in his own person, but in his posterity, even unto seven generations (Targum Onkelos). Others like Rashi and Ibn Ezra interpret it to mean that God deferred his vengeance on Cain unto seven generations, and at the end of them took vengeance on him by Lamech (Gill).[4] Whichever way one views it, in the seventh generation, Cain’s grandson Lamech says something interesting:

Genesis 4:23-24 (JPS) 23 And Lamech said unto his wives: Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech; for I have slain a man for wounding me, and a young man for bruising me; 24 If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold.

The phrase seventy and sevenfold is what Messiah said in Matthew 18, but the difference is striking. While Cain and Lamech demonstrated lack of concern for those whom they had wounded or killed, were never noted as being repentant, and were very “I” centered, Yeshua used these same numbers to highlight patience and radical forgiveness towards one that has transgressed. Instead of sevenfold vengeance or vindication, one lays down this right to bring about something far more profound: repentance.

“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” (Romans 2:4, NASB)

In this sense, Cain and Lamech represent the elder, firstborn (like Esau), who is one’s flesh (old nature or old man.) Flesh can never please Adonai, for the mind set on the flesh is death.[5] Knowing this, the chesed, mercy, and compassion of God reserves His wrath, and even immediate justice, because above all, His desire is for no one to perish.[6]

In the parable in Matthew 18, the “King” has compassion upon the servant when he pleads for “patience,” which is longsuffering. He forgives a debt so enormous that the man would never have been able to repay it in his lifetime. Instead of expressing gratitude through the trait of chesed (lovingkindness given to one who doesn’t deserve it), the man immediately finds a fellow slave who owes him a tiny debt and grabs him by the throat demanding repayment.

If we think we aren’t just like 
this servant, we are lying to ourselves.

Shepherd

The role of “shepherd” might not appear to be connected to these stories at first glance. But recall that Abel was a shepherd and Yeshua’s hint back to Genesis 4 would have been apparent to a first century hearer. Perhaps this is why Yeshua prefaces the command to forgive one’s brother and the parable of the unforgiving servant with a message about shepherding:

Matthew 18:10-14 (NASB) 10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven. 11 [For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost.] 12 What do you think? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying? 13 If it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray. 14 So it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones perish.”

A wayward sheep is one that has wandered off from the righteous Way, like Cain. While God certainly cares about the pain and devastation that we experience at the hands of others, He is also concerned with “finding” the perpetrators who have went astray. His will is for them to repent and be reconciled to Himself and the other sheep. When we are told to pray for our enemies, this should be our prayer for them too.[7] It is the heart of our King. We are not to “despise” one of these “little ones,” as Messiah, the Good Shepherd, calls them.

Matthew 5:43-48 (NASB) 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

This is not easily accomplished, and is impossible without the Spirit of the Living God residing in one’s heart. God knows this all too well. Longsuffering or patience means to “bear a burden.” It is a burden to bear the sins of others. It is afflicting to bear the emotional weight of our own pain. But this is precisely what Messiah did for us. And He tells us: “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me (Mt. 16:24).

According to 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, one can speak the tongue of angels, know all mysteries and knowledge, have faith to move mountains, give all of their money to the poor, willing give their body over to be burned, but if they don’t have love – all of it, even their faith, is useless. This passage goes on to list the attributes of love. The first listed trait is patience. I don’t think this is a coincidence.

Webster’s 1828 defines patience as “the suffering of afflictions, pain, toil, calamity, provocation or other evil, with a calm, unruffled temper; endurance without murmuring or fretfulness. The act or quality of waiting long for justice or expected good without discontent. The quality of bearing offenses and injuries without anger or revenge.”

Are these the traits of a good shepherd? I certainly see Yeshua the Messiah in each aspect![8] Many times I’ve witnessed people demean, condemn, shame, and harass other Believers for not believing, thinking or doing exactly what they do, and when confronted about their behavior, rather than repent, they say, “I’m just speaking the truth in love.” No. They aren’t. Love does not behave that way. Period. The phrase “speaking the truth in love,” comes from Ephesians 4:15. The context of that chapter is about unity in the Body and “growing up,” maturing and becoming like Messiah. It begins with:

Ephesians 4:1-3 (NASB) 1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4 concludes with a few reminders about anger. “Be angry, but sin not.” The furious conduct I see on social media must make Adonai sick to His stomach (figuratively) as He continues to suffer on our wayward behalf. Most believers do not approach their fellowman with humility, gentleness, patience, or tolerance. Instead, they do what is right in their own eyes and seethe with anger, aggression, sarcasm, and passive aggressive behavior and say that they are “speaking the truth in love.” But their anger is dangerous. It has deluded many, and has its root in the way of Cain. Anger, according to verse 27, gives the enemy a “place” in our lives.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NASB) 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

The next time you feel the need to “speak the truth in love,” ask yourself if you can do so while also being kind, tender-hearted, and without bitterness, anger, clamor, and malice. If you are angry, have been hurt, or are bitter toward a particular group, denomination, sect, or person, you are part of the problem. The rotten fruit that comes forth causes more damage and gives the impression (because you are claiming to be and image bearer of Adonai) that He is like you – when He is NOT.

Yonah

Forgiveness is major theme in the Book of Jonah that is read during Yom Kippur. In many ways, the days of counting the omer mirror the days of repentance during the month of Elul and the High Holy Days. Have you ever wondered why Jonah is read on the holiest day of the year? Jonah means dove (the bird), a figure of the Holy Spirit and carrying the Seed of the Good News.

But Yom Kippur is also the Day of Judgment. It reflects the question of day six of creation – are you a man (the image of Elohim) or are you a mere beast of the field (image of the beast)? Many think that Jonah is read on this day to represent a nation repenting, and it is. But there is a deeper reason that relates directly to the parable of the unforgiving servant and even the stories of Cain and Lamech. Though Jonah knew what He was called to do, he didn’t want to obey, because he despised the Ninevites. Nineveh was the capital city of Assyria – an aggressor of Israel and Judah. Jonah tried to run, but that landed him in the belly of a great fish. Jonah cried out the LORD in his distress and God delivered him; the fish vomited him out on dry land (a hint back to day 3).

Afterwards, Jonah reluctantly went and preached to Nineveh with great success. The people listened and repented, so God relented and didn’t destroy the city. Their repentance and God’s pardon infuriated Jonah. Even though he had enjoyed the mercy and grace of God, he resented it when God extended it to his enemies. The final chapter of Jonah is vital for every Believer to wrestle with – and every Yom Kippur we need to know if our heart is aligned with Adonai or has become like Jonah, who would rather die than see God show mercy and forgive one’s adversary.

Jonah 4:1-11 (NASB)

1 But it greatly displeased Jonah and he became angry.

2 He prayed to the LORD and said, “Please LORD, was not this what I said while I was still in my own country? Therefore in order to forestall this I fled to Tarshish, for I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity.

3 Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for death is better to me than life.”

4 The LORD said, “Do you have good reason to be angry?”

5 Then Jonah went out from the city and sat east of it. There he made a shelter for himself and sat under it in the shade until he could see what would happen in the city.

6 So the LORD God appointed a plant and it grew up over Jonah to be a shade over his head to deliver him from his discomfort. And Jonah was extremely happy about the plant.

7 But God appointed a worm when dawn came the next day and it attacked the plant and it withered.

8 When the sun came up God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on Jonah’s head so that he became faint and begged with all his soul to die, saying, “Death is better to me than life.”

9 Then God said to Jonah, “Do you have good reason to be angry about the plant?” And he said, “I have good reason to be angry, even to death.”

10 Then the LORD said, “You had compassion on the plant for which you did not work and which you did not cause to grow, which came up overnight and perished overnight.

11 Should I not have compassion on Nineveh, the great city in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know the difference between their right and left hand, as well as many animals?”

Jonah understood God’s mercy and compassion – that’s why he didn’t want to go to Nineveh. He knew God would be gracious and forgiving if they repented. Even a successful prophet of Adonai can prefer death over life. Three times Jonah says this is his preference. Notice how many times anger is mentioned. Anger is an emotion of the soul/nephesh/flesh, and is NOT of the Spirit of Adonai. This makes Jonah’s name quite ironic. One who should typify the Ruach and Good News, chose death (the flesh).

“For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, [7] because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, [8] and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” (Romans 8:6-8 NASB)

When we hold resentment, bitterness, grudges, and contempt against other human beings (even if they have deeply wounded us by unspeakable means), we are like Jonah, Cain, and Lamech. Jonah wanted to sit back and watch Nineveh burn to the ground. Isn’t that often our desire towards our enemies? He even built himself a sukkah in hopes that Adonai would change His mind and smite them all. A true sukkah is a covering akin to love; it conceals the sins and faults of others and brings reconciliation and unity. Rather than having compassion for those who “know not what they are doing,” Jonah was more upset over a plant dying because it gave him physical comfort.

The Release

What an awful prison Jonah made for himself. How many jail cells have we built and locked ourselves in? Humans are stubborn. It’s easy to read these stories and see “their” problem. But can we see that these examples were written for our own correction (mussar)? That we embody their selfish, ungrateful, and self-righteous attitudes? I recently listened to a Bema podcast with Marty Solomon and Brent Billings called “The Key to Your Own Prison.” Near the forty-two minute mark, they point out a nuance with the Greek pronouns of the following verse in Matthew 18:

“And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.” (Matthew 18:34, NASB)

Did the King who was compassionate and gracious revoke His forgiveness? Does God go back on His Word? Did he forgive an insurmountable debt and then change His mind and have “torturers” wring every last cent from the first slave? If so, that’s a terrifying god. And yet, that’s how most of us read the story, because the truth is that this IS something we would do to, and desire for, someone who was ungrateful for our kindness. But the Greek showcases another possibility that does not compromise the nature of Adonai. What if (and the Greek easily allows this) the Lord handed the first slave over to the torturers until he repaid all that the second slave owed him?

In other words, what if the King required the first slave to be “tortured” until he forgave the second slave’s debt? The next verse implies this too: “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.” When we are in a state of unforgiveness, who is imprisoned? Who is tortured, embittered, and in turmoil? The one we haven’t forgiven, or us? Marty Solomon said we are “given the key to our own prison,” but will we use the key (forgiveness)?

The word “torturers” conjures visions of the Greek god Hades and his hellhound Cerberus. But the Greek word actually means a prison keeper or jailer. Unforgiveness is a jailer, and forgiveness opens the door to the cell. God is not fickle or sadistic. He is not Hades. His attributes of mercy haven’t changed. The main reason we struggle so much with forgiving with the willingness of our Master is because we are afraid. We fear that our oppressor or aggressor is not going to get what they deserve (Jonah).[9] We are afraid that our pain doesn’t matter to God, but it does. We hurt so bad that we no longer can see the “other” as human. We deem them unworthy of God’s grace (the height of haughtiness, which blinds us to the truth).

But those are all feelings. Fear is a liar. The truth is that Adonai will not let the guilty go unpunished. But that punishment will be perfect. It will not be too little or too much. His justice is righteous. It is precisely middah keneged middah – measure for measure. Thus, we can freely forgive, have patience and compassion, and entrust them to Adonai.

Exodus 34:6-7 (TLV) 6 Then Adonai passed before him, and proclaimed, “Adonai, Adonai, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, and abundant in lovingkindness and truth, 7 showing mercy to a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, yet by no means leaving the guilty unpunished, but bringing the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, to the third and fourth generation.”

Erekh Apayim

There are two Hebrew words that comprise the English word for longsuffering. Literally, it means a long nose (nostrils). This is an idiom for taking in a long deep breath. It is a pause, a refrain from the short pants and flaring nostrils that anger invokes. Physically, taking long deep breaths calms one’s heart rate, relieves stress, and can even alleviate anxiety. In the west, when we say, “I need a breather,” it refers to removing ourselves from a stressful situation so we don’t make a hasty decision born from anger, frustration, exhaustion, or panic. We need a break, a reset.

When the Bible refers to God as having a long nose or nostrils, it means that it takes a long time for Him to take in a breath. He is calm and patient with us, and that means He suffers on our account when we are wayward and obstinate. Breath is associated with life, not death. God breathed the breath of life into the nostrils of man and he became a living soul. Adonai’s deep, longsuffering breath is also what allows our life to continue despite our wickedness, rebellion, and sin. Praise His Holy and Merciful Name! On the other hand, anger’s rapid, short breaths figures the opposite.

When being tested, try some deep breathing exercises to separate yourself from your emotions, and to realign yourself with the Spirit of God. Pray the Lord’s Prayer, which reminds us to forgive the debts and trespasses of others because Adonai has forgiven us. This also reminds one of our proper place and position before the King – that is a place of humility and submission.

Matthew 6:9-13 (NASB) 9 Pray, then, in this way: “Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. 10 Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”

In closing, I leave you with Graham Cooke, who has an excellent podcast episode on patience called “The Patience Advantage.” In it, he outlines patience as fruit that:

Guards us from negatives.
Acts as an entry point to encounter with God.
And is a critical component in walking from where we are today, into the outcomes God has planned for our tomorrows.

As you count the omer this year, may the leaven of unforgiveness be replaced with the New Grain, the New Bread that is our Messiah who was stripped, beaten, spit upon, mocked, and nailed to a tree, and instead of demanding justice or calling down fire from heaven upon the guilty, He said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”

“Sooner or later all the people of the world will have to discover a way to live together in peace, and thereby transform this pending cosmic elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood. If this is to be achieved, man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” – Martin Luther King Jr. – Acceptance Speech, on the occasion of the award of the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo, 10 December 1964

[1] https://biblehub.com/lsv/matthew/18.htm

[2] Jude 1 – read the attributes/traits/actions of those on this path.

[3] Firstfruits require faith because they are the first to come up from the ground or be birthed in the flock. There is no earthly guarantee of more to come. Hebrews 11:4 (NASB) By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still speaks.

[4] https://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/gills-exposition-of-the-bible/genesis-4-15.html

[5] Romans 8:6-8 (NASB) For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, [7] because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, [8] and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

[6] John 3:16 (NASB) “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

[7] See also Luke 6:27-36.

[8] As a contrast, review the actions of wicked shepherds and “fat” selfish sheep in Ezekiel 34.

[9] Later, Nineveh reverted to their wayward ways and God destroyed the city. It wasn’t in Jonah’s timing, but according to the Sovereign King of Universe and the future actions of the Assyrians.

Categories: Ethics, Mussar | Tags: Cain, chesed, Counting the Omer, Erekh Apayim, forgiveness, Jonah, Lamech, longsuffering, Love, Mussar, Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, patience, Speaking the Truth in Love, The 13 Attributes of Mercy, Yom Kippur | 8 Comments

A Wise Woman Builds Her House Virtual Conference

Posted on November 30, 2022 by K. Gallagher

You are invited to join me over at The Rooted Kafe for a FREE virtual conference Sunday December 4th, 2022.

“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”

(Proverbs 14:1, NASB)

Are you a builder? As woman, you are whether you realize it or not. How do we ensure that all of our hard work for our spouse, children, spiritual communities, and the secular world is fulfilling and not draining? Do you struggle with burnout, contentment, or validation? Maybe you just need some encouragement and help. Allow the community of women at The Rooted Kafe to offer you some sound counsel and practical advice on December 4th. The goal for this summit is to share ways to thrive in all things feminine from a Torah perspective. On December 4, 2022, the team at The Rooted Kafe is bringing you presentations from 8 speakers which includes 2 keynote and 6 additional breakout session speakers.

I’m going to be talking about Becoming a Master Architect, which is a message about how to build or rebuild your spiritual life with Adonai through mussar. You will also learn about an opportunity to join an upcoming course I will be teaching in The Rooted Kafe on this subject. If you’ve read my series called Matters of the Heart, then you are familiar with how transformative mussar work is. If not, listen live at the virtual conference, or sign up to receive the videos. I hope to see you there!

Teachers include:

Kisha Gallagher (Keynote)
Min Juantia Weiss (Keynote)
Charli Brown
Lauren Crews
Brenda Johnson-Stroth
Gail Heaton
Loyla Louvis
Miriam Stalsworth

The best part? It’s totally FREE!

Or, choose the video option here.

Categories: Conferences, Mussar, News Flash | Tags: builder of the house, conference, House built on the Rock, Mussar, The Rooted Kafe, Wisdom, woman | 10 Comments

Tevet: Be Angry, and Sin Not

Posted on December 27, 2019 by K. Gallagher

Updated 12/4/21

Eph. 4:26-27 (NASB) BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity.

This year, I’ve been concentrating on the sense of anger for the upcoming month of Tevet. Tevet is the tenth Hebrew month, which denotes a completion of sorts or a representation of the whole, like a tithe. For example, see number ten in this post, or consider how ten men make a minyan for prayer, or that Abraham negotiated with YHWH down to ten righteous souls to save Sodom (Gen. 18). In what way does Tevet express aspects of ten? The answer to that question has partially eluded me until this year. As it turns out, anger is the key.

First, consider that every year Tevet begins at the end of Chanukah. One’s lamp should be full of candles or light when the tenth month arrives. This is in stark contrast to what is happening in the natural. Outside, the days are short and cold. There is less “light,” physically and spiritually. And yet, followers of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are meant to be the light to those in darkness.

The spiritual darkness at this season is recorded in the apocryphal book of 1 Maccabees:

1 Mac. 1:44-50 (KJVA) For the king had sent letters by messengers unto Jerusalem and the cities of Juda that they should follow the strange laws of the land, 45 And forbid burnt offerings, and sacrifice, and drink offerings, in the temple; and that they should profane the sabbaths and festival days: 46 And pollute the sanctuary and holy people: 47 Set up altars, and groves, and chapels of idols, and sacrifice swine’s flesh, and unclean beasts: 48 That they should also leave their children uncircumcised, and make their souls abominable with all manner of uncleanness and profanation: 49 To the end they might forget the law (Torah), and change all the ordinances. 50 And whosoever would not do according to the commandment of the king, he said, he should die.

Denying proper sacrifices, profaning the Shabbat and Feast days of Adonai, polluting the holy altar with swine’s flesh, and forbidding circumcision, all served to make the people forget the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. (These things are still true of the anti-messiah spirit.) The end goal of the anti-christ spirit is for God’s people to forget His Torah, His Word. So, what is one actually “forgetting” if this spirit is successful?

Pro. 6:23 (TLV) For the mitzvah is a lamp, Torah a light, and corrective discipline (mussar) the way of life.

The Torah or instructions of Adonai provide spiritual light to those that follow HaShem. They are a light unto one’s path. (Ps. 119:105) They train and teach one in the Way of Life. Chanukah comes from the same root as the Hebrew word for education. (Chet, nun, chaf) Chanak means to train, to dedicate. At the time of the Maccabees, the Greeks were determined to force Hellenism upon the Jewish people, and sadly, they were mostly successful. This necessitated the reeducation of the larger Jewish population with Adonai’s Torah. Celebrating Chanukah reminds one that we are always at war with false ideologies, paradigms, and mindsets.

Interestingly, the Maccabees urged the people to celebrate “the feast of Tabernacles in the month of Kislev” as a commemoration of their victory.

2 Mac. 1:1-9 (KJVA) The brethren, the Jews that be at Jerusalem and in the land of Judea, wish unto the brethren, the Jews that are throughout Egypt health and peace: 2 God be gracious unto you, and remember his covenant that he made with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, his faithful servants; 3 And give you all an heart to serve him, and to do his will, with a good courage and a willing mind; 4 And open your hearts in his law and commandments, and send you peace, 5 And hear your prayers, and be at one with you, and never forsake you in time of trouble. 6 And now we be here praying for you. 7 What time as Demetrius reigned, in the hundred threescore and ninth year, we the Jews wrote unto you in the extremity of trouble that came upon us in those years, from the time that Jason and his company revolted from the holy land and kingdom, 8 And burned the porch, and shed innocent blood: then we prayed unto the Lord, and were heard; we offered also sacrifices and fine flour, and lighted the lamps, and set forth the loaves. 9 And now see that ye keep the feast of tabernacles in the month Casleu (Kislev).

Chanukah literally means dedication; the Maccabees cleansed and rededicated the Temple or House unto Adonai. Like in English, dedicate (chanak) in Hebrew means to devote or set apart for a special purpose. In this case, the Temple was rededicated and devoted solely for the purpose of worshipping YHWH and Him alone. But, dedicate can also mean to devote oneself completely unto someone or something. In this sense, it is related to training. A student devotes or dedicates himself to his studies.

Pro. 22:6 (NASB) Train up (chanak) a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Chanukah reminds one to rededicate their house or Temple for the purposes of Adonai, and to live a life devoted to learning His Word. This conforms and molds one into His image in the earth. In this way, we become vessels of His Light, shining brighter each year. All other ideologies fail and fall as truth is etched onto one’s heart.

2 Tim. 2:15 (KJV) Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Therefore, it is with this knowledge fresh on one’s mind that we enter the tenth month of Tevet.

The Head of Tevet

The new moon is the “head” of each month. As such, the first of each month figuratively contains all the raw material and spiritual light for that particular season. In other words, the head (of the month) directs the body (of the month). The head of Tevet begins with the last and brightest lights of the Chanukiah. Thus, Chanukah points the way through Tevet. It trains one how to war against spiritual darkness.

Although we’ve been celebrating the victory of the Maccabees, the rededication of the Temple, and overcoming the enemy despite great odds, Tevet immediately casts one into the throws of seeming peril. It is so great that Zechariah reminds the forlorn people that one day, four traditional fast days WILL become a time of joy. In fact, the Hebrew says that they will become MOEDIM, like the feasts found in Leviticus 23. One of those fasts occurs in the tenth month:

Zec. 8:19 (NASB) Thus says the LORD of hosts, “The fast of the fourth, the fast of the fifth, the fast of the seventh and the fast of the tenth months will become joy, gladness, and cheerful feasts (moedim) for the house of Judah; so love truth and peace.”

The fast on the tenth of the tenth month (Asarah B’Tevet) recalls the siege on the First Temple by Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon. The fast is from just before sun up until nightfall.

2 Ki 25:1 (NASB) Now in the ninth year of his reign, on the tenth day of the tenth month, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came, he and all his army, against Jerusalem, camped against it and built a siege wall all around it. (see also Jer. 52:4)

Wait! You mean right after celebrating a victory of overcoming the enemy and rededicating the House to YHWH, we are supposed to recall yet another attack on the Temple? Yes. A better question to ask is, “Why?”

The Temple or House is a physical picture of the Body and the heart of mankind. Just as your physical body and your spiritual body are both essential to life, Adonai’s earthly Temple AND spiritual Temple each serve the God of the Living. In the natural, there is an ongoing war for the place that Adonai placed His name.[1] Likewise, there is an ongoing war for the temple of your body and your heart, where Adonai dwells.

Nebuchadnezzar’s army pitched their tents around the city, and then built siege weapons (dayek) like towers, mounds, and bulwarks, in which they could shoot their arrows and cast their stones.

The enemy SURROUNDS the city.
They pitch tents.
They build siege works to cast arrows and stones past the city walls.

Spiritually or figuratively, at this season has the enemy surrounded you, set up a camp, and began building siege works? Casting arrows or stones can metaphorically refer to words that cut, pierce, or crush another person. We need to not only be on the defensive for such tactics; but even more importantly, we need to ensure that we guard our own tongue and lips! We don’t want to be found with an unruly member.Like Yeshua, it is often best to be silent before one’s accusers.

The story and commemoration of Chanukah and Nebuchadnezzar’s siege on the walls of Jerusalem before the destruction of the 1^stTemple, inform the warfare of the tenth month. There is judgment regarding the “House” at this season. Do you recall another month on Adonai’s calendar where this is the case?

In many ways, Tevet mirrors the fourth month of Tammuz. On Tammuz the 17th, the fast of the fourth month marks another siege on the walls of Jerusalem, this time though, it is a breach of the 2^ndTemple.[2] Compare the following account from the Mishnah about the 17^thof Tammuz with 1 Maccabees 1:44-50 above.

There were five events that happened to our ancestors on the seventeenth of Tammuz and five on the ninth of Av. On the seventeenth of Tammuz: The tablets were shattered; The tamid (daily) offering was cancelled; The [walls] of the city were breached; And Apostomos burned the Torah, and placed an idol in the Temple. On the ninth of Av It was decreed that our ancestors should not enter the land, The Temple was destroyed the first And the second time, Betar was captured, And the city was plowed up. When Av enters, they limit their rejoicing.[3](Taanit 4:6)

Look at the clock face below. Rather than thinking of hours and minutes, allow each number to represent one of the twelve months. Adonai’s calendar is cyclical like the clock face.

Now, look at number one and number seven. Do you see how they are directly opposite one another on the clock/calendar face? How are month one and month seven alike? The first and seventh months contain all but one of the sacred moedim or appointed times in Leviticus 23. Together they envelop the entire harvest season and the “light” part of the year. Just as Pesach mirrors Sukkot, month one mirrors month seven.

Look at the clock face again. Trace each number to find it’s opposite in the year. (1-7, 2-8, 3-9, 4-10, 5-11, 6- 12.) We can learn much by studying opposites. Connections that one would otherwise miss are revealed through opposite counterparts. This is how male and female are meant to function, they are alike and yet opposite. (To understand this better, see The Biblical Role of Women.)

By looking at each month’s counterpart on the calendar, one can learn a great deal about what is happening (spiritually) at that season. For example, month 6 (Elul) and month twelve (Adar) are both months of spiritual preparation. Yom Hakippurim is a day (yom) like Purim if one takes the time to investigate it. The forty days of repentance begins on the first of Elul and concludes on Yom Kippur. Besides repentance, this forty day period of examination includes renouncing and annulling careless words, promises, and vows made in the previous year. Just before Yom Kippur, the Kol Nidre service serves to finalize this process.

Queen Esther nullified the vows of her husband at Mordecai’s suggestion, which was a topsy turvy play on Numbers 30. Pur doesn’t just mean “lots,” but also annulments. Purim commemorates much more than Haman’s wicked “lots.” It also celebrates the “pur” or annulments of Queen Esther![4] Ideally, one repents, prepares, and annuls impulsive vows before Yom Kippur in Elul, the mirror of Adar. Thus, by examining each month’s counterpart, one gains a deeper understanding and appreciation of the rhythm of the Creator’s calendar.

The tenth month (Tevet) mirrors month four (Tammuz). The theme of each month is centered on the siege of the walls of Jerusalem, and the eventual destruction of Adonai’s House. According to tradition, the House or Temple was destroyed because of:

1^stTemple – idolatry

2^ndTemple – baseless hatred against brothers

The rabbis teach that, in reality, both sins were present at each destruction. Besides being a direct infraction of the two greatest commandments (love Adonai, love neighbor), what else do these destructions have in common? Meditating on this, I had a realization about the sense of anger. The Bible says to: “BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity.”

Anger Brings Destruction

According to psychology, anger is a secondary emotion; meaning, it is rooted in the more primary emotion of fear. Anger is the “fight” side of the “fight or flight (or freeze)” instinct that one has when faced with danger or a threat. With fear and anger, one’s heart rate accelerates, blood pressure rises, and adrenaline increases blood circulation to the muscles. These physical responses enable one to run quickly, or to stand and fight the enemy or threat one is facing.

These physical responses can save your life if you meet a bear in the woods. But, while they enable the physical body to perform with increased speed and strength, they simultaneously decrease one’s executive brain. In other words, anger (and fear) reduces one’s ability to perform risk assessment. One’s actions are managed without forethought about how they will affect the future. These emotions are pinpointed on the moment of threat with survival being the only goal in sight. The sad part, is that what we perceive as a threat can simply be someone else’s opinion. This is especially true in the age of lightning fast global communication and social media.

The Talmud equates anger with the sin of idol worship, which is an affront to the first and greatest commandment, and one of the reasons YHWH allowed the Temple to be destroyed. Why do you suppose the rabbis consider anger to be on the level of idolatry?

When one is enraged, who is on the throne? It can be fear, but it can also be self, a form of pride. Think about this for a moment. Imagine a time when you were infuriated. Did you not have a strong sense of righteousness at that time? Couldn’t you list off a litany of reasons why you had the “right” to be furious? Whether you were right or wrong at that moment in time, you became the judge, knowing good and evil. Likely, you were also the executioner spewing out reprimands, insults, and judgments. In this way, anger became a false god. Or more accurately, anger ruled your heart, not Adonai.

The Jewish sages have some profound messages on anger. In Pesachim 66b, it says, “Whosoever yields to anger, if he be a wise man his wisdom leaves him, and if he be a prophet his prophecy leaves him.” Nedarim 22a says, “The angry person is overcome by all forms of hell.” The sages realize that an angry person doesn’t think straight. They have a one track mind that the Bible equates to foolery.

Ecc. 7:9 (NASB) Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, for anger resides in the bosom of fools.

I don’t know one person that has not said or done something when they were angry that they later regretted. There is a reason that in Hebrew anger is expressed with words like boiling, seething, and burning. It is the emotion most akin to hell, because if acted on, fists of fury and injurious words of death blast out like a machine gun bent on destruction. These actions are never righteous, though many believe they are justified if the other person is in error or wicked or _________ – you pick an excuse. It behooves us to stick with the wisdom of James:

James 1:19-21 (NASB) This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls.

Man’s anger does NOT achieve the righteousness of God. This doesn’t mean that it is a sin to get angry, especially over sin and injustice. Knowing this, many people use the coined term “righteous anger” to differentiate between sinful anger and non-sinful anger. The problem is that I have witnessed many people use the term “righteous anger” to say (or type) horrible, hurtful things to others. Their actions produce anything but “righteousness.”

If you are a Believer and are truly seeking after the righteousness of God, then you know how easy it is to deceive yourself. Anger comes from a place of fear, which only the perfect love of Adonai can cast out. If not from fear, it comes from pride, which is superiority – a form of idolatry. Thus, the emotion of anger is not the problem; rather, it’s what one does with that anger.

When we are angry, we cannot achieve the righteousness of God. In the heat of the moment, it is imperative to ask yourself whether the anger is coming from fear or pride. (These are actually two sides of the same coin.) Ask yourself: What am I afraid of? Why do I feel superior in this situation? How can I turn my anger into an action that will be restorative for the other person, myself, and perhaps others? These are some of the questions that can cool off one’s hot head. They also remind one to LOVE their neighbor, the second failure of Israel that caused the Temple to be destroyed.

Pro. 12:15-16 (KJV) The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise. 16 A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.

Even if the other person is wrong, a wise man or woman will cover the shame of the other. Rather than go on a tirade exposing the flesh of their neighbor, a wise person has learned to REACT differently. This is incredibly difficult, a test I’ve failed many times. Mussar teacher Alan Morinis put it this way:

“The issue is not anger; the issue is how we act in response to that trigger. And what we learn from Jewish wisdom is that we should strive never to lose our mastery over our emotional lives. We see that in the liturgy that has us praise God’s quality of being slow to anger. On festival days and especially on Yom Kippur, we intone, ‘Adonai, Adonai! Compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness .…’ Notice that being “slow to anger” is high on the list of characteristics we ascribe to God.”[5]

If you are reading this post, I believe, like me, you desire to be like Adonai. This includes being long nosed, the Hebrew idiom for being “slow to anger.” A long nose takes a long time for air to travel in and out. It is akin to taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it. This is a scientifically proven method to help one to calm down. Before reacting, pause, and practice some deep breathing.

Pro. 16:32 (NASB) He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.

Take some time this month to meditate on “loving one’s enemies.” (Luke 6:27-36)

Be Angry, and Sin Not

This Tevet, consider once again the siege on the walls of Jerusalem, and the eventual destruction of the Temple. Be angry about what brought Israel to this devastating predicament, which was idolatry and baseless hatred. Search your heart for hidden idols and hate. Get angry about those things. Use this time as an opportunity to root out darkness in your own heart. Don’t take the bait in the MANY traps and siege works of the enemy. They are there to ensnare, to incite anger, and to get you to react in an unrighteousness manner. Don’t stumble or get your feet tangled in the nets of offense.

Adonai’s clock is pointed at the ten and the four. Four is about authority, and ten is a tithe representing the whole. How we handle anger will reveal whether destruction or restoration occurs. It also reveals who sits on the throne of one’s heart. If it’s anger instead of our compassionate, slow to anger God, the siege works will continue. But, even that is His mercy. Getting to the root of anger is one of the keys to spiritual wholeness. Bitter roots must go!

One the biggest obstacles to “being angry and sinning not” is offense. To be offended means to feel hurt, angry, or upset by something someone else said or did. When someone hurts us with their words or actions, we feel justified in taking offense. Many feel like they have a “right” to seek retaliation, vengeance, or to bear a grudge. These feelings are common to us all in such situations. But, is this truth according to “it is written?” Do we have a right or justification for these feelings?

According to the Torah’s commandment to love one’s neighbor, we don’t.

Leviticus 19:18 (NASB) You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD.

It isn’t a coincidence that the Torah prefaced the command to love one’s neighbor with not taking vengeance and not bearing a grudge. These activities are the antithesis to loving one’s neighbor. When we are hurt and offended, our greatest desire is to see the other person suffer the consequence of their actions. We want them to be punished and for justice to prevail on our behalf. However, when we fail others, when we sin intentionally or unintentionally, our cry to heaven is for lenience. The last thing we desire to experience is the full consequence of our sin. Rather than justice, we seek mercy and forgiveness. God expects us to love our neighbors as ourselves. To give them the mercy we desperately desire when we have screwed up. That is love.

Proverbs 17:9 (NASB) He who conceals a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.

Offense, hurt, and anger prevent one from keeping the second greatest commandment. Such feelings, though very real, are not the truth of “it is written.” They will bring destruction to the “House of Adonai.” Notice the warfare language that Proverbs uses in regard to offense:

Proverbs 18:19 (NASB) A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a citadel.

Once one is angry or offended, it is like being caught in a snare or being stuck behind the bars of a citadel. Offense imprisons the one that is offended. Messiah put it this way:

Matthew 18:7-9 (NKJV) Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes! 8 If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.

Make no mistake, He says, offenses WILL come. No one gets to escape “being offended.” The Greek word for offenses is skandalon. The English words scandal and scandalous are derived from skandalon. It is the movable stick or trigger of a trap where the bait is placed to ensnare prey/animals. This is why Messiah says above that it is better to (figuratively) cut off your hand or foot if it causes offense. It is better to pluck out your eye than to endure the fiery hell that offense brings. Offense is the bait in the trap. It is especially crafty about how to ensnare one’s nephesh, flesh, or beast nature. When we choose to take the bait of offense, all hell breaks loose in relationships.

Many years ago, I read a fantastic book about offense by John Bevere called, The Bait of Satan. I often reread this book because I know what I am capable of. I need the correction and edification. Relationships are HARD. People are HARD. And if we are honest, we, ourselves, are difficult, complicated, and duplicitous. Messiah said, “Woe to that man by whom offenses come.” I find that I am often “that man.” I offend without realizing it. I say and do things that hurt other people even when I have good intentions. I have been hurt and offended by others. Some meant to offend, but many of them did so without realizing it. In The Bait of Satan, you will learn how to spot offense and how to bring these issues to the Father. As of this writing, you can get a copy on Kindle for only $3.99, a tiny investment for a lifetime of change.

Meanwhile, if you know you’re angry, get alone with Adonai and let it out. Read the Psalms. David poured it all out to Adonai, anger and all. Allow Adonai to show you the root behind your rage. Let Him cast out your fears one by one. For that is the real issue. We are afraid that the one who hurt us will not get what they deserve. According to the Word, not a single one of us will escape the judgment of Adonai. We don’t need to worry about avenging ourselves. That is NOT our duty.

Romans 12:17-21 (NASB) Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. 19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord. 20 “BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

If pride is your issue, find ways to humble yourself before Adonai and others. Seek to honor people, especially those you think don’t deserve it. Right actions often come before right emotions. Do what is tov, good, and it will go well (tov) for you. Your countenance, your emotions, will change or be lifted up, is what Adonai told Cain when he was angry.

2 Timothy 2:23-26 (NASB) But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels. 24 The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, 25 with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.

Now more than ever, the political climate in America is ripe with tensions meant to make you seethe like a beast in the field. Choose differently. Religious spirits, likewise, have set crafty traps to do the same. Don’t take the bait of offense. Instead of becoming burning mad, exploding like a nuclear bomb, or blasting others with the flame torch of your tongue (or keyboard), be a simple flame of light, like the candles on the Chanukiah. Shine brightly and humbly. Bring warmth, hope, forgiveness, and honor to those in darkness.

Ephesians 4:25-32 (TLV) So lay aside lying and “each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. 26 “Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 nor give the devil a foothold. 28 The one who steals must steal no longer—instead he must work, doing something useful with his own hands, so he may have something to share with the one who has need. 29 Let no harmful word come out of your mouth, but only what is beneficial for building others up according to the need, so that it gives grace to those who hear it. 30 Do not grieve the Ruach ha-Kodesh of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness and rage and anger and quarreling and slander, along with all malice. 32 Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other just as God in Messiah also forgave you.

Happy Chanukah and may your tenth month of Tevet be blessed! Learn more about Tevet here.

[1]Dt. 12, 1 Kings 11:36

[2]Learn more about Tammuz and The Three Weeks here.

[3]https://www.sefaria.org/Mishnah_Taanit.4.6?lang=en&with=all&lang2=en retrieved 12/26/19

[4]For a deeper look at this truth, see: The Queen You Thought You Knew by Rabbi David Fohrman. See also Esther’s Mystery Behind the Mask by Dr. Hollisa Alewine.

[5]https://mussarinstitute.org/Yashar/2016-03/mussar_lens.phpretrieved 12/26/19

Categories: Moedim, Mussar, new moon | Tags: 10th Month, anger, Chanukah, Destruction of the Temple, Fast of the Tenth Month, fear, Mussar, offense, pride, slow to anger, Tevet | 11 Comments

Know Your Place

Posted on May 24, 2015 by K. Gallagher

The Spirit of Shavuot

After reading this past week’s Torah portion, B’midbar,[1] and celebrating the fourth Biblical festival of Shavuot (Pentecost), I began to think about our various “positions” before Adonai. The Mussar middah (character trait) humility has at its core the question of a person’s proper place. A balanced person neither thinks too highly of himself nor too lowly. Likewise, he or she doesn’t focus too much on self or on the faults of others. This sounds so simple, but the issue of humility is a great struggle for most of us. (Me included!)

In parsha B’midbar, HaShem described not only the placement of each individual tribe as they camped, but also outlined the order in which they would travel and go to war. The tribal leaders were named and the duties of the priests for the movement of the Mishkan (Tabernacle) were established. Adonai is very specific and organized. There was no question as to one’s duty or placement in the body of Israel. Today, instead of knowing our place, we seem to be “all over the place” in both physicality and deed; each thinking his way, interpretation, or understanding is higher or better.

This creates confusion, not unity. Instead of being united like the believers at Shavuot in Acts Chapter 2, we seem to be more scattered and divided like they were after Messiah’s last Passover and subsequent crucifixion. Using this as a model, we know that Yeshua’s desire was for them to come back together as one people at Shavuot. This is why the risen Messiah told them during the days of the Omer count to go to Jerusalem and WAIT for the promise of being “clothed with power from on high.”

“And behold, I am sending forth the promise of My Father upon you; but you are to stay in the city until you are clothed with power from on high.” (Luke 24:49 NASB. See also Acts 1:4)

We all know what happened next.

And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. (Acts 2:1 KJV)

When we fully come into the Spirit of Shavuot, we know our proper estate. Can you even imagine how glorious the unity of the people was? Look at what their actions produced; it’s eerily similar to when God spoke the Ten Words to the people standing at the base of Mt. Sinai at an earlier Shavuot:

And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. (3) And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. (4) And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. (Acts 2:2-4 KJV)

So it came about on the third day, when it was morning, that there were thunder and lightning flashes and a thick cloud upon the mountain and a very loud trumpet sound, so that all the people who were in the camp trembled. (17) And Moses brought the people out of the camp to meet God, and they stood at the foot of the mountain. (18) Now Mount Sinai was all in smoke because the LORD descended upon it in fire; and its smoke ascended like the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mountain quaked violently. (19) When the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder, Moses spoke and God answered him with thunder. (Ex. 19:16-19 NASB)

Adonai descended upon Mount Sinai in fire at the giving of the Ten Commandments and the people trembled. Later He descended in fire again, but this time, instead of manifesting on a mountain, the fire sat upon the people that had gathered at His Mountain (Zion). Like the mountain, the people were not consumed. In both cases, the Word of Adonai went forth like FIRE at the feast of Shavuot!

The people in each of the above examples were unified. I dare say that their theology was NOT what united them. It’s difficult to find two people that have the same opinion on any given matter. Jews have a saying to express this: “two Jews, three opinions.” So, what did unite the people? Or better yet, what CAN unify us?

The two most memorable Shavuot festivals have at their heart two great leaders. And there is one trait that both are said to possess that I find most fitting for us to focus on within the theme of unity. Moses is called the most humble man on earth.[2] Later, the one like unto Moses[3] is also called humble.[4] By following Moses’ and Yeshua’s example, it’s not our theology and opinions that binds us into one accord. Rather, it’s our willingness to “know our place” or live in a state of humility.

The Humility of Shavuot

“Always seek to learn wisdom from everyone, to recognize your failings and correct them. In doing so you will learn to stop thinking about your virtues and you will take your mind off your friend’s faults.” —Cheshbon ha-Nefesh by Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Satanov.

If there is one thing that I notice more than anything on television, the blogosphere, and social media, it is that our focus is continually on the faults of others. I see very little introspection and meekness. As Rabbi Menachem mentions in the above quote, it is by seeking to learn wisdom from EVERYONE that we are enabled to really see our own failings and correct them.

Everyone? Even the heathen, pagan, atheist, and cult follower? Most would squawk that these lost souls have no wisdom. Is this true? The last time I checked, they too were made in the image of God. While they may need redemption, they too, are a holy soul and Adonai cares greatly for them. Pride is what causes us to assume that we have nothing to learn from these precious ones.

But, this is also true of those that we interact with from the redeemed. Just because Joe Schmoe doesn’t think, believe, or act out his walk with the LORD exactly like you do, doesn’t mean that you are better than him or that he doesn’t have something to teach you. Again, it’s PRIDE that keeps us from gathering together. I’ll give you an example from my own life.

Years ago, I was part of a congregation in FL. The local Seventh-Day Adventist (SDA) church allowed us to meet in their building. I personally don’t think or believe like SDAs. Other than obeying the Sabbath, I thought I didn’t have much in common with these folks. One day, the SDA group asked us to join with them to break bread. To be honest, I didn’t really want to go. My prideful little self secretly thought, “What could they possibly teach me at this point?” I know you’ve never had a thought like that about a person or group, but I freely admit my debauchery to you anyway.

Long story short, I went… begrudgingly. The meal was fine. It was more or less a communion service in their fellowship hall. Since I associate communion with Passover, I felt that the meal wasn’t quite “accurate.” (More pride.) Then, something odd happened. The people rose from their seats and began to break off for a foot washing ceremony. Without anyone leading, spontaneous songs and hymns began to flow from the lips of these people. A sweet Spirit entered our midst and I think my mouth hung open, lol.

Married couples went to one room. Singles of the same sex went off into two other areas (children included). A sink and a stack of basins were in each room for us to gather water. One spouse sat while fresh, warm water was poured over the other’s feet. Song and praise continued to flow throughout the building. It was one of the most touching experiences I’ve ever had in my life. The water was just water, but it felt like SO much more than that.

It was SO much more than that! Adonai humbled me in a way that day that I will NEVER forget. Washing someone else’s feet is the epitome of humility. But, I honestly believe it takes even MORE humility to have someone else wash YOUR feet.

Feet are the lowest part of our bodies. Since they are what touch the earth and because they are what carry our every weight and burden, they are likened to our nephesh (soul/flesh). They are our beast (of burden). And they get dirty. They, more than any other part of us, need frequent washings. You can walk around in the dirt all day and your hands can remain clean, but not your feet.

Some of you may know that I’m a licensed manicurist. I give pedicures (wash, clean, and manicure of the feet) all the time. I actually enjoy it. I consider it a privilege to care for a person in this way that is often difficult for them to do for themselves. But without soap, sweet ointments, or even toenail polish, the foot washing that I gave and received at that little SDA church has stood out as the best of the best.

Having my feet washed in the presence of Adonai and His people nearly overwhelmed me. The chip on my shoulder fell off the minute the water touched my toes. This is the Spirit of Shavuot. I wanted to separate myself out like the disciples did at Passover and Unleavened Bread, but Abba wanted me to humble myself and gather together with His people in one accord and one place.

Shavout isn’t about perfect doctrine or halachah. It is one of the pilgrimage feasts and as such, it is literally a FOOT festival. You must tame your feet and direct them to Jerusalem to receive the promise of the Father. The journey will make your feet both tired and dirty, but when you arrive, true disciples will be there with fresh water and songs of praise on their lips. Better yet, YOU will be there happy to wash the grime and mud off of your neighbor’s feet.

The heart of the commandments is LOVE. And there is no better way to express the love for your brother than to wash his feet. In a sense, this humble act says; let me wash the dirt from your lower nature. I know walking through life gets your soul muddy. I understand. I too, have a dirty nephesh. Let me refresh you. Allow me to care for you by meeting a need we all share regardless of our theology or lack thereof. I love you anyway. Let me learn something from you. You matter to me.

If we think about Moses and Yeshua, didn’t they do exactly this? Both dealt with imperfect and challenging people. Both humbled themselves and SERVED the people. They knew their place. Instead of calling fire down from heaven to destroy those with dirty feet, they tenderly washed the people.[5] The result was a fiery Word in the mouth of Israel.

Since Shavuot is about the Bride receiving her ketubah (Torah Covenant) and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, I thought it would be fitting to conclude with the words of Abigail, a bride of King David. Let’s see what wisdom this model bride can teach us:

When the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel, they spoke to her, saying, “David has sent us to you to take you as his wife.” She arose and bowed with her face to the ground and said, “Behold, your maidservant is a maid to wash the feet of my lord’s servants.” (1Sam. 25:40-41)

Abigail was a humble bride; one any king would desire. She proved this through the selfless action of foot washing. Shavuot beckons us to ask: “What do I do with the feet of those I encounter? Do I step on their toes? Do I turn my nose up at their grime? Or do I bow down low and tenderly wash them clean?” May we become a maidservant like Abigail. When the King comes to take us as His Bride, may we know our place as ones who wash the feet of His servants!

[1] Numbers 1:1- 4:20. B’midbar literally means “in the wilderness”.

[2] Now the man Moses was very humble, more than any man who was on the face of the earth. (Num. 12:3)

[3] “The LORD your God will raise up for you a prophet like me [Moses] from among you, from your countrymen, you shall listen to him.” (Dt. 18:15)

[4] “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Mat. 11:29-30)

[5] Ex. 19:10-11; John 13:5-13

Categories: Moedim, Mussar, Torah Portions | Tags: B'midbar, foot washing, humility, Mussar, Pentecost, Shavuot | 8 Comments

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